Hyper Animorphs
by Elfera
Summary: Where Marco thinks he's sexy. Rachel says a bad word. Tobias has a jar of dirt, and more! Crack-fic.
1. Marco's Sexy

**Me: This is pretty much me trying to rewrite something I wrote when I was twelve, and hyper off of M&Ms. Yes that happens deal with it.**

**Alala: I seriously don't know what possessed her to do this.**

**Me: Thackery Binx.**

**Alala: I will take away that DVD.**

**Me: I will take away your life.**

**Alala: The progressed quickly.**

"Hello" Jake said. "My name is Jake, and I'm the only one at this moment who is not high on stuff. And here are the only Animorphs."

Rachel walks in awesomely. Then Ax gallops in, while in a human morph. Cassie then cartwheels badly into the room. Then Marco runs in doing that weird thingy where he runs in doing that I guess love sign in sign langue while sticking out his tongue. Then Tobias skips in. With a jar of dirt.

"I've got a jar of dirt!" Tobias sang. "I've got a jar of dirt, and guess what's in it!" Then Cassie of all people ran up to him, and stole it. "Gimme my jar of dirt!" Tobias wined tears falling down his pale cheeks.

"Mine!" Cassie giggled.

"GIVE HIM HIS FUCKING JAR OF DIRT!" Rachel screamed, then ran after her.

"Guys stop it!" Jake said walking over to Cassie, and he grabbed the jar of dirt. Then smashed it on the ground. Revieling that there was a rat heart in the jar.

"Umm… I don't know what to make of this." Jake said. Then Marco started to sing.

"I'M TO SEXY FOR MY SHIRT, MY SHIRT!"

"OH SWEET HADES MAKE IT STOP!" Rachel shrieked. For Marco's singing was terrible.

"I'M TO SEXY FOR RACHEL, FOR RACHEL."

"I want my daddy!" Tobias cried, and then who should appear? Only Elfangor. He held out his arms, because he too was hyper.

"I'm here Tobias!" Tobias ran into Elfangor's arms.

"Make it stop daddy!"

"I'M TO SEXY FOR MY PANTS, MY PANTS." Then Marco started to take off his pants. The parents of all the Animorphs exspect Jake, and Marco came, and the others ran into their arms.

Then the hyperisum wore off.

"What the, aren't you dead?" Tobias said staring at his father.

"Yeah…"

"Awkward."

**Me: There was something about Tobias singing I Believe I can Fly, and then jumping off the stage, but eh. I didn't feel like it. The whole Marco singing thing came from a song fic of Marco singing I'm to Sexy, only with different words. I came up with the for Rachel thingy. ;{D**

**THACKERY BINX IS THE MUFFIN CAT YOU IDIOT FATHER!**

**That had to be said. He's my favorite character, that Thackery Binx… is it because he's a cat, or because he's awesome? **

**Anouther random question.**

**How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop.**

**You know I have a diet Mnt. Dew… TO DEMIMORPHS! **


	2. Cassie and Rachel are Different

**I was bored, so I decided to finish this, though it's better when I'm hyper, but I haven't been hyper since school got out...**

**Oh gods, High School, I swear I'm going to get myself KILLED once I start. I'm probably going to keep my bunny ears in my bag, and if I hear someone call me a name...**

**"What'd you just call Me? I'm not a weirdo' mate, I'm a bunny."**

**And then I'm probably going to skip down the halls singing,**

**"Quirreldemort, Quirreldemort, oh Quirreldie, Quirreldie, Quirreldemort!"**

**Freaking, Quirreldemort.**

**And then I might just start randomly singing stuff like,**

**"I've traveled the world from here to Albania, I've tustled with vampires, and seen how they hate," or, "Sipping tea by the fire is swell, pushing people in is fun as well!" **

**Oh and if I have any classes with uh... shit I forgot his name. Oh yeah. Jullian. I'm probably going to explode, like this,**

**"OH MY GOD, JULLIAN IF YOU DON'T SHUT UP I'LL EAT YOUR PILLOW! YOU'LL BE HAVING A DREAM WHERE YOU'RE EATING A GIANT MARSHMALLOW, AND WHEN YOU WAKE UP YOUR FAVORITE GOOSE FEATHERED PILLOW WILL BE MISSING!"**

**Stupid Jullian, I hate his freaking guts. He's more annoying than ME! Oh and want to know what happened at our Olympics?**

**He and his partner were rolling a huge tire down the track, and dropped it. Instead of running back with it that took their wizard god time doing it! And when a girl who I like went with the track, he kept on yelling at **_**her **_**and her partner to hurry up! And if that's not worse, when she tried to talk back in defense he told her it was just a fucking game! **

**I HATE HIM! I WANT TO DRUG AND KILL HIM!**

**Not really, I'm not an utter physcho path. **

**But ugh! **

**I better not have any classes with him, thank the gods I'm not in band, if I was I might just EXPLODE!**

**Ranting over. Enjoy.**

"Hi, again" Jake said waving. "Once again the others got on a sugar high, except me, because I'm imune to that. And well..." Jake sighed and face palmed. "They're worse."

It was that moment Tobias ran in flapping his arms.

"I BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE I CAN FLY!" Though it was better than Marco, because Tobias actually had a nice singing voice. It was that moment when Marco came in.

"You CAN fly!" Marco told Tobias.

"Really?" With that Tobias jumped off the stage, and there was a high pitch sound of a tuba.

"Since when do we have musical instruments here?" Jake asked in confusion.

"I WANT A ROCKETSHIP!" Ax cried as he ran in arms in the air. "I NEED A ROCKETSHIP SO I CAN GO TO MARS!"

"What do you want with a rocketship?" Cassie asked as she walked towards Ax. "What businuss do you have on Mars?"

"Well," Ax said. "Let's just say. Pigfarts, Pigfarts here I come. Pigfarts, Pigfarts, yum, yum, yum."

"RACHEL!" Cassie yelled turning away from Ax. "WHAT IS THAT?" Cassie was pointing at a sock that was lying on the ground. Rachel walked in.

"That's a sock!" Rachel yelled.

"WELL DO YOU HAVE ANY PLANS FOR IT?" Cassie yelled.

"I WAS THINKING ABOUT PUTTING IT AWAY IN THE MORNING, ALRIGHT?"

"Uh, no! That is not alright, the floor's going to start to smell like dirty clothes!"

"Well, aren't we an odd couple?" Rachel asked. "You won't sleep on your tummy!"

"And you won't sleep on your back!"

"We're quite a cooky couple, you'll agree." They said together.

"We share some hands and fingers." Rachel said.

"And yet, the feeling lingers." Cassie said.

"We're just as 'bout as different as anyone can be." They said together.

"You like plotting a garden." Cassie told Rachel. "And I like plotting to kill."

"What?" Jake asked in confusion. "That's backwards."

"You think that you should rule the world, I think books are a thrill!" Rachel said. "Sipping tea by the fire is swell!"

"Pushing people in is fun as well!"

"Does sugar make Cassie evil?" Jake asked. **NEW HEADCANNON! **

"I like folding all of my ties." Cassie added.

"And you have no friends, hey that's a surprise."

"But you guys are friends." Jake said.

"Oh, major wipeout." Tobias said as he got out of the orchastra pit. "What happened?"

"You started to sing I Beleive I Can Fly, Marco told you, you could, so you jumped into the orchastra pit."

"When did we get that?" Tobias asked, and Jake sighed in releif that Tobias had gained his sanity back.

"Well I'm more worried about Cassie and Rachel, apparently when Cassie is high on sugar she becomes evil, and when Rachel's high on sugar she's nice."

"Weird."

"I guess it's plain to see, when you look at you and me, we're different, different as can be!" Rachel and Cassie cried out.

"You're a sissy, a twat, a girl!" Cassie told Rachel. "I'm the darkest of lords."

"I'm the brightest professor here, I've won several awards!"

"Wait" Tobias said. "Are they speaking Different as Can Be?"

"What's that?"

"It's a song Quirrell and Voldemort sing in A Very Potter Musical. Cassie is Voldemort, and Rachel is Quirrell."

"Why are Quirrell and Voldemort singing?"

"It's a musical, Jake. The two end up getting together, and they adopt a little girl named Wang Mu."

"My new world's about to unfold!"

"You got beat by a two year old!"

"Man, Quirrell has some guts." Jake said.

"Yep. He rolled his eyes at Voldemort."

"Man, Quirrell has some guts." Jake said again.

"I'll kill him this time, through and through. Or you might just give him, another tattoo!"

"You really must agree, when you look at you and me, we're different, different as can..."

"I'll rise again, and I shall rule the world! But you must help me renew! For when our plan succeeds!"

"Prevails!"

"Part of that world, goes to you."

"When I rule the world I'll plant flowers!"

"When I rule the world, I'll have snakes! And vampires, and werewolves, and fleets of dementors and threstals and all of my Death Eaters."

"And Jane Austin Novels!"

"When I rule the world!"


End file.
